What It Was Like to Have (Another) Baby with My Much Older Husband: Part 1

There I was yet again, in the hos­pi­tal with my older hus­band, Kee­gan, by my side. I was in preterm labor again. Just like with my first­born, I had to fol­low strict rules. Com­plete bed rest and com­plete pelvic rest, which meant Kee­gan would have to find some­one to play with or suf­fer through the rest of the preg­nancy. The last time, I went out of my way to arrange a sex buddy for him. This time he wasn’t so lucky.

Because I was on bed rest for the remain­der of the preg­nancy, I couldn’t care for my older child at all. So, she was mostly with her grand­par­ents and Kee­gan. This was extremely stress­ful for him, espe­cially as his work respon­si­bil­i­ties kept mount­ing. We were stretched to our limit even with the assis­tance from our parents.

Our youngest daugh­ter was born six weeks pre­ma­ture. She was in the NICU for two weeks imme­di­ately after being born, then on the pedi­atric floor for another week. I was up and walk­ing four hours after hav­ing a C-section. I walked the entire length of the hos­pi­tal to see my baby in the NICU.

I remem­ber being dis­charged from the hos­pi­tal and get­ting home with Kee­gan and our old­est daugh­ter, who had just turned two, and I felt like a ter­ri­ble mom for leav­ing our new­born alone at the hos­pi­tal. But when I was at the hos­pi­tal, I felt bad for not spend­ing time with our older daugh­ter, who was miss­ing her par­ents badly. It was tor­ment­ing try­ing to decide which of our chil­dren needed me more.

I couldn’t help but feel that I needed to be by my baby’s side in the NICU. I am glad that I did, because at one point, her breath­ing tubes were drown­ing her, requir­ing a full workup and report to be done. Sadly, it was an over­sight of one of the nurses who grabbed a machine that needed recalibration.

After that event, I tried to be there, even stay there as much as I could. After a cou­ple days, I was the one bathing her, check­ing her tubes, and doing all of her dia­per changes.

She was so small that Kee­gan could hold her in his one hand. She looked even smaller in the large plas­tic iso­lette that kept her warm. Even­tu­ally, she was trans­ferred to the pedi­atric floor where I had a fold­out chair to stay with her. Kee­gan stayed one night a week, mostly because he was still try­ing to work and man­age every­thing that I had let go dur­ing what was one of the hard­est points in our mar­riage. Unfor­tu­nately, bring­ing her home didn’t make things any easier.

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About Vivian

I am 26 and my husband 45. At first, our friendship existed mostly online. I was actually helping my now husband with his dating profile when it dawned on me that he was exactly what I was looking for in a perfect life partner. So, I asked him out and we have been together ever since. We now have two daughters together and everyone that knows us will tell you that they simply can’t imagine us apart, and neither can we. I’m no stranger to May-December relationships—my father was 71 and my mother was 33 when I was born. I have never dated a guy my own age. Anything less than 10 years older than me just seems wrong, and frankly, it doesn’t even turn me on in the slightest bit to think about it. It’s actually a turn-off. After going through relationships with a few rich older men, I finally settled down with my husband. I’m sure there were people waging bets on how quickly our marriage would fall apart, but we’re determined to prove them all wrong.