What It’s Really Like Between the Sheets with a Rich, Older Man: Part 1

Now would be the best time to be hon­est about the role that sex plays in my rela­tion­ship with an older man, Patrick. Its fre­quency, impor­tance, and power over how we grew as a cou­ple had a lot to do with him, at least in the beginning.

Patrick was a man who was obsessed with being with me and, because I had never been in that kind of a rela­tion­ship before, I was aghast and amazed by his attrac­tion to me. What I thought might be a very affec­tion­ate but occa­sional affair grew by leaps and bounds. I had trou­ble being respon­sive to all of Patrick’s demands and, at times, I would try to be unavail­able to him, just so that I could catch my breath—and some sleep.

But as over­whelm­ing as it was some­times, Patrick was also, in so many ways, very irre­sistible. I felt safe, adored, and always on a pedestal with him—what woman doesn’t want that?

Patrick told me about his past early on in our rela­tion­ship. He had only been mar­ried once, but had now been divorced for many years. In those years, he had had many monog­a­mous girl­friends and sex had always been crit­i­cal, even though it sounded like he had ended all of his past rela­tion­ships for non-sexual rea­sons. Keep in mind that Patrick was a well-educated, cul­tured, well-traveled man who was strik­ingly hand­some and very charm­ing. I’m sure—although I never asked—that most of his pre­vi­ous girl­friends had also been con­sid­er­ably younger than he was.

Let’s get back to the sex issue. At first, I had some trou­ble adjust­ing to the sight of an older man’s pri­vate parts. It’s a lit­tle hard to explain, but I had never seen male gen­i­talia that were as old as Patrick’s, and there are changes that nat­u­rally occur with aging. So, for the sake my com­fort, it was always “lights out” when we had sex. That being said, I also had never seen any­one who was that well-endowed. Seri­ously, I was fas­ci­nated by how big he was.

Our sex life was excel­lent, in terms of results, but his fre­quent demands for sex left me feel­ing con­trolled. Patrick usu­ally got very upset if I wasn’t in the mood when he was, which was pretty often.

Sev­eral months into the rela­tion­ship, Patrick became almost dis­traught with me for not want­ing to have sex with him at 5 a.m.—I was sup­posed to be fly­ing out at 7 a.m. for a busi­ness trip and needed the sleep, but he didn’t care. When he called my hotel room later that night, I told him that I couldn’t stand the pres­sure any­more and that I needed to stop see­ing him.

I thought that would have been the end of it, but Patrick ended up doing some­thing that, to this day, still leaves me hor­ri­fied and chilled to the bone…