What Really Drives Rich Older Men Crazy in the Bedroom

I had just asked out my much older friend, Kee­gan, but before things got seri­ous, I needed to know how seri­ous he was about me. So, I made a deal with him—10 dates, no sex. Sur­pris­ingly, he agreed, and even though I was ready to give after our sixth date, he stuck to my rule.

I had pur­chased some lin­gerie and decided to test Keegan’s honor. I knew he wouldn’t budge, but I needed to prove it to myself. And if he failed the test, then it wouldn’t be so bad, because I would finally get laid. So, I tried the sexy lit­tle lace out­fit on and asked him to take a look and let me know what he thought of it.

His jaw hit the floor. Sure, when he met me at the bar I was wear­ing skimpy clothes, but that was quite some time ago and he actu­ally knew me now. This put me in a whole new light for him, tak­ing me from being that col­lege girl who was barely older than his niece to some­one he truly wanted to be with, some­one he could see as a sex­ual being with­out feel­ing awk­ward about it, because I was so much younger. Even at the bar, he was always a gen­tle­man and more inter­ested in talk­ing about my edu­ca­tion and study mate­r­ial than any­thing else, mostly because of our age difference.

So, there we were, both vis­i­bly excited. He hugged me and held me close. “YES!” I thought to myself, expect­ing him to ask me to break our no-sex agree­ment. But he excused him­self to the bath­room. I was com­pletely dumb­founded. I had no idea what happened.

Through the bath­room door he said to me, “Vivian, you look absolutely amaz­ing and I want you more than any­thing right now. But I made a promise to you, a promise that I fully intend to keep.”

I let out a big sigh and retreated to my room, com­pletely embar­rassed and ashamed. I quickly got dressed and sat on the edge of my bed for a few moments, col­lect­ing my thoughts. Luck­ily, he came to join me and kissed me pas­sion­ately, lay­ing me down onto the bed. We made out like that for a while, with­out a sec­ond thought about what had just happened.

That was when I knew, with­out a sin­gle doubt in my mind, that this was the man for me. Sure, he was nearly 20 years my senior, but there was noth­ing any­one could say to change my mind.

Later that night, I was out for a walk and I called my mom for some advice. I explained the sit­u­a­tion that unfolded ear­lier that evening. She laughed and said that it was a “tac­tile move,” but to be careful—if he’d wanted what I was teas­ing him with, he would have found a way to get it earlier.

We both had a good laugh at my silly antics. My mom and I had a really rough patch where we didn’t talk as much, mostly the typ­i­cal mother-daughter issues. It just took some time for us to both reach a good bal­ance in our per­sonal lives. And at that point in my life, no one under­stood me and my attrac­tion to older men like she did. After all, she was mar­ried to my step­fa­ther who was 78 at the time, and she was just turn­ing 55.

One of the most impor­tant things she ever taught me about dat­ing my older man was to always put him first. I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant, until a lit­tle later in my May-December rela­tion­ship with Keegan.