What to Expect When Your Husband Finds Out That You’re the Reason a Man Cheated on His Wife

dating_a_sugar_daddy_september2_13.jpgIn a split sec­ond, my world was turned upside down. My hus­band, Robert, who had worked for the past lover who I was now con­tem­plat­ing an affair with, had just asked me if I was this man’s mis­tress. I was unsure of what I should say. When Robert and I were dat­ing, I had told him that I had never cheated on any­one whom I was in a rela­tion­ship with, that I had never been unfaith­ful.  If I told him the truth now, he would surely know that, while tech­ni­cally I was not the one cheat­ing, I was the other woman, which was just as bad, if not worse. But if I lied to him, he might find out the truth and it would only make mat­ters worse. I sat in silence star­ing at him, unsure of what to say. He asked me again, and finally, I had to speak.

What do you want me to say?” I asked—it was the only safe thing I could answer with.

The truth for once,” he replied. I could sense in his tone that he was get­ting angry. I was wor­ried that some­how he had already found out the truth. I could not lie any­more. I was ter­ri­fied to think that he might already know.

Yes,” I said—one word, one truth. That is all that he needed to know.

He stood up quickly and slammed his hand on the table next to him. He accused me of being a liar and cheater. He said that he could never trust me again and asked if I was with him because of his money. Appar­ently, my rela­tion­ship with Der­rick had made him recon­sider our rela­tion­ship. At one point, he grabbed me by the neck and asked me, “How could you par­tic­i­pate in break­ing someone’s mar­riage vows? What kind of whore are you?” When he saw the tears fall down my face he let go of my neck. He stood in front of me, angry, star­ing me down. I was speech­less. I could say noth­ing. “Speak for God’s sake,” he yelled. “What type of woman screws a man who is mar­ried? You said you were a faith­ful per­son, that you had morals! Who are you? How could you f*ck him? Don’t you know who he is?”

I didn’t know,” I said, with tears in my eyes. “I didn’t know he was married.”

Bullsh*t! Every sin­gle one of those home wreck­ers knew! Do you know how many of you there were? You were one in a mil­lion!” His words stung like a bee. I knew that he was right, but it did not change how I felt about Der­rick. “What kind of woman are you?” He stared me down and made me feel smaller than crumbs.

I am a woman who made a mis­take. I am a woman who was lied to and fell in love with a mar­ried man. I am—”

He laughed as if I had told him the great­est joke of all time. “Loved him? Do you even know what you are say­ing? He was prob­a­bly with 10 other woman while you were together. How stu­pid are you?” His words got meaner and meaner as he spoke. I could no longer take the abuse and started to tune him out. I shut down and stopped reply­ing to his ques­tions. I wasn’t lis­ten­ing any­more and I didn’t care.

When he finally stopped yelling, he grabbed my suit­case out from the closet and hurled it toward me. “Start pack­ing. I can’t be mar­ried to a whore.”

  • interestedobserver2

    Wait a minute. I’m con­fused. How is your cheat­ing with a mar­ried man while YOU YOURSELF ARE MARRIED, NOT make you “tech­ni­cally the one who was cheat­ing?” Get real here. You’re mar­ried to Richard and screw­ing Der­rick. Guess what? That makes you just as much a cheater as Der­rick. Sheesh, the way you peo­ple jus­tify your­selves to your­selves. News­flash, your hus­band was not the per­son in the wrong here — YOU WERE.

  • Undoc­tri­na­tor

    That you were will­ing to be a par­tic­i­pant in a mar­ried man’s betrayal of his wife; that you were com­fort­able doing some­thing that could turn an inno­cent and unsus­pect­ing woman’s world upside down, is what reflects so poorly on you.

    Were you betray­ing some­one to whom YOU had an oblig­a­tion? Appar­ently not. That doesn’t mean you aren’t the kind of per­son who is will­ing to hurt oth­ers for your own grat­i­fi­ca­tion. Robert was right to be dis­gusted by that rev­e­la­tion. Though his get­ting phys­i­cal was com­pletely unac­cept­able, and a crime.

    That you were con­tem­plat­ing hav­ing an affair with the same guy again, this time while mar­ried, shows that you are a cheater, a liar, will­ing to betray the peo­ple who place their trust in you, prob­a­bly a sociopath, and pos­si­bly a sex addict.

    Had you any char­ac­ter, you would tell Robert that you need an open rela­tion­ship and let him make a deci­sion as to whether he wants that.

    You really need ther­apy to explore your dis­re­gard for oth­ers. Why you have no empa­thy. And what might have hap­pened to you.