The idea of younger women dating older men is a timeless concept. But why? Why do younger women like dating older men, and why has this convention been practiced for so long? The age-old question has been pondered by anthropologists, sociologists, psychologists, behavioral scientists, talk show hosts, high school girls at slumber parties, and younger men walking home alone after closing time.
Is it an innate evolutionary tactic for the woman to find the strongest, most confident man who can financially support her and provide her (if she so chooses, thank you very much) with genetically superior children?
If so, older men come out on top every time. After all, what’s more attractive? Is it an eager, younger guy, fresh out of college, who’s selfish in bed and who has nothing but hope to cling to, or an older, wiser, outgoing, more mature man with a great job, who also happens to be experienced and selfless in bed?
Evolutionarily, it’s the perfect match. Younger women like men who can provide emotionally and financially. And, luckily for those women, older men are visual creatures.
For younger women wanting to date older men and older men looking to date younger women, the evolutionary dimension provides a good start. But not all relationships are that simple, because women and men are often a little more multidimensional than that.
So maybe there’s more to sexual chemistry than biology. Maybe sexual chemistry is related to the size of the man’s wallet. After all, some younger women don’t want a sexually charged older man; some younger women prefer a man who can shower her with Birkin bags and fill her closet with Manolo Blahnik shoes. In fact, there are probably many younger women who prefer that, and, lucky for them, there are a lot of affluent older men who are more than happy to shower these women with the finer things. And why shouldn’t they? Consenting adults can date and marry for different reasons.
At the same time, most people would be hard-pressed to find examples of beautiful young women dating poor older men with limited financial means.
Naturally, golddigging is a conditional arrangement that can be short-lived. After all, older men will only hold onto their arm candy so long as it pleases them. They have nothing to lose, because they can always find another young woman to date.
If, however, the ‘who’ is more important than the ‘what’, then maybe age really is just a number. And the attraction runs deeper than anything biology or material possessions can explain. And, in such cases, you’re dealing with all the little nuances that make the younger woman dating an older man scenario just like any other relationship.
The biggest issue in one of these relationships will likely be the recurring need to explain to others that your relationship is actually based on love and admiration—and nothing insincere.
Yes, you’ll end up dealing with the mind-numbing responses like, “He’s just a father figure to you!” And that may be true. But tell me this: is it even possible to be in a relationship that doesn’t have some sort of psychological undertone?
“He’s making you miss out on the fun of being in your twenties!” You might say that to a young woman in a relationship with a more mature man. But would you say that to a guy in his twenties who wanted to marry his older girlfriend? Probably not.
“He’s going to die long before you do.” And that’s most likely true, but it’s the reason why a younger woman would rather spend all her time with her older man than suffer a second without him.
Sometimes, older is better. With age comes experience, which is why many younger women will always want to date older men.