Why Do Younger Women Date Older Men?

The idea of younger women dat­ing older men is a time­less con­cept. But why? Why do younger women like dat­ing older men, and why has this con­ven­tion been prac­ticed for so long? The age-old ques­tion has been pon­dered by anthro­pol­o­gists, soci­ol­o­gists, psy­chol­o­gists, behav­ioral sci­en­tists, talk show hosts, high school girls at slum­ber par­ties, and younger men walk­ing home alone after clos­ing time.

Is it an innate evo­lu­tion­ary tac­tic for the woman to find the strongest, most con­fi­dent man who can finan­cially sup­port her and pro­vide her (if she so chooses, thank you very much) with genet­i­cally supe­rior children?

If so, older men come out on top every time. After all, what’s more attrac­tive? Is it an eager, younger guy, fresh out of col­lege, who’s self­ish in bed and who has noth­ing but hope to cling to, or an older, wiser, out­go­ing, more mature man with a great job, who also hap­pens to be expe­ri­enced and self­less in bed?

Evo­lu­tion­ar­ily, it’s the per­fect match. Younger women like men who can pro­vide emo­tion­ally and finan­cially. And, luck­ily for those women, older men are visual creatures.

For younger women want­ing to date older men and older men look­ing to date younger women, the evo­lu­tion­ary dimen­sion pro­vides a good start. But not all rela­tion­ships are that sim­ple, because women and men are often a lit­tle more mul­ti­di­men­sional than that.

So maybe there’s more to sex­ual chem­istry than biol­ogy. Maybe sex­ual chem­istry is related to the size of the man’s wal­let. After all, some younger women don’t want a sex­u­ally charged older man; some younger women pre­fer a man who can shower her with Birkin bags and fill her closet with Manolo Blah­nik shoes. In fact, there are prob­a­bly many younger women who pre­fer that, and, lucky for them, there are a lot of afflu­ent older men who are more than happy to shower these women with the finer things. And why shouldn’t they? Con­sent­ing adults can date and marry for dif­fer­ent reasons.

At the same time, most peo­ple would be hard-pressed to find exam­ples of beau­ti­ful young women dat­ing poor older men with lim­ited finan­cial means.

Nat­u­rally, gold­dig­ging is a con­di­tional arrange­ment that can be short-lived. After all, older men will only hold onto their arm candy so long as it pleases them. They have noth­ing to lose, because they can always find another young woman to date.

If, how­ever, the ‘who’ is more impor­tant than the ‘what’, then maybe age really is just a num­ber. And the attrac­tion runs deeper than any­thing biol­ogy or mate­r­ial pos­ses­sions can explain. And, in such cases, you’re deal­ing with all the lit­tle nuances that make the younger woman dat­ing an older man sce­nario just like any other relationship.

The biggest issue in one of these rela­tion­ships will likely be the recur­ring need to explain to oth­ers that your rela­tion­ship is actu­ally based on love and admiration—and noth­ing insincere.

Yes, you’ll end up deal­ing with the mind-numbing responses like, “He’s just a father fig­ure to you!” And that may be true. But tell me this: is it even pos­si­ble to be in a rela­tion­ship that doesn’t have some sort of psy­cho­log­i­cal undertone?

He’s mak­ing you miss out on the fun of being in your twen­ties!” You might say that to a young woman in a rela­tion­ship with a more mature man. But would you say that to a guy in his twen­ties who wanted to marry his older girl­friend? Prob­a­bly not.

He’s going to die long before you do.” And that’s most likely true, but it’s the rea­son why a younger woman would rather spend all her time with her older man than suf­fer a sec­ond with­out him.

Some­times, older is bet­ter. With age comes expe­ri­ence, which is why many younger women will always want to date older men.

  • John Davis

    Wow easy answer. I can’t believe Drs and talk shows can’t fig­ure this out. And I can answer it easy. It’s because she wants money and gifts . That’s the only rea­son why younger 18 year old women date older men. Women are money hun­gry and most guys her age won’t have any money. You can go to a club meet young women all night long. And next day go on back page and you will see those women all over it they are hookers.

  • kate T

    i agree , why would any young girl ever con­sider dat­ing a older man ‚same thing goes for younger man and older women ..its dou­ble stan­dard !
    Those girls have some kind daddy issues and those guys are pervs ..also those girls are gold dig­gers 2

  • kate T

    Big age gaps rela­tion­ships are very rare in real life ‚its proven fact ..but this girls have some daddy issues , and they want their money ..pure logic !

  • Kate

    I don’t doubt that a lot of young women are drawn to the money, but that’s not always the rea­son. I found myself attracted to older men when I was in my late teens and in col­lege. I never acted on it, but I was intrigued by their con­fi­dence and knowl­edge. When you are sur­rounded by imma­ture guys that typ­i­cally con­verse about drugs, sex and sports, it shouldn’t be too dif­fi­cult to see why there’s an attrac­tion. I’m in my early 30’s now and frankly I still find men my age to be very imma­ture, as a large major­ity lead with an air of nar­cis­sism and dis­re­spect. There are excep­tions to every rule, but I’m still drawn to men that are expe­ri­enced and appre­cia­tive, and that tends to come with age. I also think there’s an assump­tion that the older man is hideous and is a day away from admis­sions into a nurs­ing home, which is not always the case. Besides, young does not equate to “attrac­tive”, espe­cially in our age of fast food and inactivity.

    I will agree that an age gap works against a rela­tion­ship when a woman is young, but as they get older their lifestyles are more com­pat­i­ble. Even though a younger woman with a much older man may prove to be dif­fi­cult at times and is deemed as cor­rupt by a lot of peo­ple, it does not negate the pos­si­bil­ity that the rea­son for the attrac­tion, whether young or old, has noth­ing to do with money.

    As far as, “daddy issues”, it’s an easy way to throw out a cliche phrase you’ve heard or a read a mil­lion times, with­out hav­ing to put some thought behind your response. It derived from a psy­cho­an­a­lytic “the­ory”; a way some­one tried to explain devel­op­men­tal processes and behav­ior, but it’s just a the­ory. It has been used to cre­ate stereo­types and per­cep­tions that women lack intro­spec­tion and choice over their lives. It’s often used an excuse for why a young attrac­tive woman would be with an older man, because alter­na­tives are too dif­fi­cult for a lot of peo­ple to grasp.

    • Michelle Mcdon­ald

      I absolutely agree with you I am 32 years old and a lot of guys in my age group aren’t ready for com­mit­ment, are incon­sis­tent and don’t fol­low through on what they say they will do (an exam­ple of this is can­celling a date at the last moment and not fol­low­ing up to make it up to me.) A few years ago my girl­friend mar­ried a guy 30 years her senior and now I under­stand why. This is why I need to date some­one 15 or 20 plus years older than me. Thank you for your can­did story because I feel the same way.