Why He’ll Trust You More If He’s Older

TrustCan a May-December romance work when he’s a lot older? If you’re a younger woman dat­ing an older man, you’ve prob­a­bly been asked this ques­tion at least once (likely more). After all, why would a young, beau­ti­ful woman choose to date an older man if not for his money?

While money might be a con­tribut­ing fac­tor for some women, there’s another big rea­son why older men actu­ally make bet­ter partners—they’re more trust­ing, at least accord­ing to new sci­en­tific research to be pub­lished in the jour­nal Social Psy­cho­log­i­cal and Per­son­al­ity Sci­ence.

The research found that peo­ple become more trust­ing as they age, and as one of the stud­ies demon­strated, this is a trend that has been con­sis­tent over the past 30 years and in sev­eral dif­fer­ent coun­tries, show­ing that it isn’t just a cul­tural or gen­er­a­tional char­ac­ter­is­tic. A sec­ond study fol­lowed the same group of peo­ple over a period of time and also found that they became increas­ingly trust­ing with each pass­ing year.

Going back to that May-December romance, older men are proven to be more trust­ing, which is always an admirable qual­ity in a part­ner. It might not seem like a huge deal, but a trust­ing part­ner can really be one of the biggest pros of age dif­fer­ence in rela­tion­ships. Trust is essen­tial for any rela­tion­ship to work, regard­less of whether it’s a May-December romance or a more con­ven­tional one. It paves the way for open, hon­est com­mu­ni­ca­tion and keeps out unnec­es­sary doubt or jealousy.

No woman wants to be in a rela­tion­ship in which their inten­tions are always being ques­tioned and are con­stantly being watched out of fear that they’re doing some­thing wrong. It’s never a nice feel­ing to know that your part­ner doesn’t trust you, but when you’re with an older man, you don’t have to worry about that. There’s a bet­ter chance that he’s secure enough with him­self to know that once he’s got you, he doesn’t have to worry about you going behind his back.

That being said, it’s still a two-way street. If you’re in a May-December romance and your older man has put all his trust in you, don’t take advan­tage of him. He obvi­ously respects you and you should owe him that same con­sid­er­a­tion. Also, you should be able to trust him, too. Unless you’re fairly cer­tain he’s up to no good, you should be able to have faith in him and his inten­tions. If for what­ever rea­son you don’t trust him, it’s prob­a­bly a good time to reeval­u­ate that relationship.

So going back to that ques­tion, can a May-December romance work if he’s much older? The answer is yes, absolutely. Just make sure his trust in you isn’t futile and that you trust him, too.


Nauert, R., “Aging Asso­ci­ated with Increased Trust & Well-Being,” Psy­ch­Cen­tral web site, March 16, 2015; http://goo.gl/hTBgwk.

This entry was posted in From The Editors and tagged , , on by .

About Isabella

I was never patriotic, so when Independence Day came, the last thing on my mind was to go out and celebrate. I was bored and I was lonely, and though they weren’t my normal crowd, thesse girls were friends and family members who I grew up with. But Diana had her man, Marsha had hers, and my cousin Lisa had her own. I was the only one who was single and my taste was just too high; the kind of men they dated did not appeal to me. I wanted the executive, the entrepreneur. I was 22 and unhappy about my life. I yearned to be in a relationship; I felt I had so much to give a man, and yet I was single. My friends and I waited for cab and I was still second-guessing whether or not I really wanted to go out. While we were waiting, an older looking gentleman driving a blue pick-up truck drove up to us. As he slowed, he said, “Don’t move. I’m coming right back!” He drove off, leaving a trail of his cologne, as he sped away to drop off the construction workers sitting in the back of the truck. Literally moments later, he came back, stopped in front of us, asked us where we were going, and told us to get in. It turns out his name was Keith. After Keith dropped us off, I realized I didn’t want to stay and asked him to take me back to where he picked us up from. He turned, looked at me, and said, “You were the reason why I picked you all up. I wanted to get to know you. So, I’m happy you decided to leave with me.”