Why I Agreed to a Lunch Date with My Older, Married Ex-Lover: Part 1

may december relationshipI had not had any con­tact with Der­rick since the night at the restau­rant. We were both try­ing hard to make our respec­tive mar­riages work and we knew that if we had too much con­tact, we would not be able to con­tain our­selves. We had arranged to meet up for lunch in a pub­lic place so that we could both behave. Meet­ing with him was very peace­ful, and sur­pris­ingly, we spoke as old friends would. We talked about our mar­riages, our jobs, and our pasts. We were doing some­thing that we hadn’t done in years—getting to actu­ally know each other. For most of our rela­tion­ship, we had a lot of drama with his wife and my then-boyfriend. Both Der­rick and I real­ized that, in ret­ro­spect, we did now know much about each other, which is per­haps why we lusted over one another so much. While our first year of dat­ing was mag­i­cal, the rest was really a mess of love affairs and lies. For the first time in a very long time, we enjoyed a deli­cious din­ner and had a great conversation.

When the tab came, Der­rick pulled out a wad of cash and set it on the table. “Although today we acted with respect to our spouses, she would not approve of our friendly din­ner,” he said, imply­ing that cash would be safer than to risk using his credit card and his wife see­ing the statement.

I nod­ded my head. “I under­stand. Don’t worry about it. I am quite enjoy­ing being just your friend. Even the urge to kiss you has faded. This is—”

Nice,” he inter­rupted. I nod­ded my head again agree­ing. It was nice, very nice, and drama-free.  We were just two old lovers hav­ing lunch and liv­ing our own lives. When we parted ways, Der­rick and I only hugged. I could sense that he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss him, but after the inci­dent at the restau­rant, we were both wary of our actions. On my part, I felt incred­i­bly guilty. I couldn’t help but think back to what hap­pened that night after Robert and I got home from dinner…

  • Melanie

    I feel bad for the woman. I can totally relate to being torn between two lovers. Love makes us do crazy things.