As I sat in Derrick’s office, I was still unsure about why I was really there. The night before, I could not sleep because I couldn’t stop worrying about what I was about to do. All I could think about was my husband, Robert. I knew that I could not jeopardize our marriage—I wasn’t just worried about losing the money, but I really did love him. Despite his faults, Robert loved me unconditionally and would be completely heartbroken if I betrayed his trust, just like his first wife did. I spent the majority of our dating relationship reassuring him that I would never hurt him, and that I would only have eyes for him. But now here I was, sitting in the office of an older man I once loved. The worst part is that whenever I was around Derrick when we were together, I felt absolutely no inhibitions. What if I wouldn’t be able to control myself this time around?
Derrick finally walked in. He was smiling and laughing while talking on the phone. I realized right away that he was talking to another woman that he was romantically involved with. I knew him far too well to think otherwise. I felt foolish and dumb and immediately wanted to leave. Why would I think things would be any different this time around? Why did I think he would have changed? When I stood up to walk out, he quickly hung up the phone and shook his head from side to side, gesturing the word, “No.”
“You can’t leave. You just got here, Cassie.” He smirked and I felt even more ridiculous. I was a married woman in an ex-lover’s office with the intention to do what? Have an affair? Do exactly what Derrick did to me when we were together? I did not want to be that woman anymore—I refused to hurt my husband the way Derrick hurt me. I refused to do the same thing Robert’s ex-wife did to him. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to move.
“I think I made a mistake. I should have never come here. I don’t know what I’m doing, Derrick. I saw you and I just—” I paused to find the right words. I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn’t know how to say it. “I wanted closure. You hurt me. You blamed everything on me,” I said. Old feelings flooded me like a storm, but I continued. “You left me no choice but to run. I loved you so much. I just wanted you. I didn’t care about the money. I just—” He interrupted me, but I never expected him to say what he said next…