After my last conversation with Brandon, the older man I had developed a crush on at work, it was as if something changed in his perception of me. And could I really blame him? He caught me reading a naughty book at work and when I fessed up to it, it totally freaked him out. Sure, I knew I probably made him uncomfortable about my interest in reading erotica, but it wasn’t as if I admitted to being a stripper or anything.
No longer did he come to my desk at the front and make idle small talk with me about school. In fact, he acted as if I didn’t exist. Was it really so bad that he had caught me reading—technically pretending to be reading—a book that was bordering on the line of pornographic? Or was he uneasy about the fact that I was readily willing to admit my interest in something so naughty?
I had tried my best to come off as the quiet, intelligent young woman that I knew I was. But being very sexual was something that I hid on the inside—I didn’t exactly feel like that was really me until it came out. Brandon seemed to have an entirely different view of me and so it was no wonder that he, being a devout Christian, avoided me like I was temptation from Satan himself. Nonetheless, I knew he would eventually talk to me, and I would make sure of that.
The month of July came and went, and so did my birthday. I celebrated it with my close family, but didn’t exactly make a big deal of it. I had just turned 20, and leaving behind my teenage years, it felt as though I had lived through so much in just a year. And before I knew it, it was August and I was back in school going through another semester of full-time classes. I had gotten over my ex and my feelings for Brandon were only getting stronger.
I had entertained the idea that I was just exhibiting a crush, much like a love-struck teenager. He was in a way forbidden and only within my reach in my dreams. Even though Brandon had been avoiding me like the plague, there were times that I had caught him off guard and those were times that I replayed in my head.
Regardless of the fact that he was short with me and ready to go about his own business, there was still a playful side to our short conversations, even though it wasn’t anywhere near how he had been before my big confession. I had a sarcastic wit and he had an innocent, but comedic personality that fit perfectly with mine. I was sure that what Brandon and I had was some form of chemistry.
Long before the book incident, he was always ready to talk about his life experiences. Brandon had had a rough life, which was hard to fathom, because this was the same man who greeted everyone with a big, warmhearted smile. And it was then that I knew I was really falling for him. A rebound from my ex or not, this man was getting under my skin and making my heart beat ten times faster than normal.
Now why the heck couldn’t he look at me? Little did I know what was really going on in that head of his…