Why You Should Think Twice About Asking Your Rich Older Man If He Ever Plans to Marry You: Part 1

As Marco packed for his trip and I sat there reel­ing, won­der­ing what changed, I couldn’t help but feel hurt, so I dug my “grave” a lit­tle deeper. I asked him the dreaded ques­tion at the worst pos­si­ble time: “Where do you see us in one year, or three, or five, or even 10 years?” But before he could respond, I fired a few more heavy hit­ting ques­tions at him. “Do you pic­ture us ever get­ting mar­ried? Hav­ing kids? Are we OK in that respect?”

Look­ing back, it was a bit nuts for me to run full speed into that type of con­ver­sa­tion so early into our rela­tion­ship, and espe­cially as he was pack­ing to leave. I didn’t want him to leave on a bad note. I wanted more than any­thing to spend more time with him, to make love to him, and to feel some­what like a real cou­ple, the cou­ple I thought we were. I strug­gled immensely with this through­out our relationship.

It had taken some time for him to intro­duce me to his friends, but, after my expe­ri­ence with my ex Brian’s friends, I wasn’t in too much of a hurry. He lied to his fam­ily about me and told them that I was rent­ing space in his home while in col­lege, since he was away so much. It wasn’t far from the truth per say, but it hurt my feel­ings to be so dimin­ished in his life. I went into this believ­ing we were in a real rela­tion­ship, and in most aspects we were at first, but it changed somehow.

Marco sat me down on the bed and held me close; we had a lit­tle chat and he com­forted my anx­i­eties. He inten­tion­ally skirted the ques­tions of mar­riage or chil­dren, but answered the “where do you see us” ques­tion with a refined, “Happy, lov­ing each other as we do now, and trav­el­ing.” Some­thing in my gut just didn’t sit right; alarm bells were going off in my head, but I smiled any­way and made the best of our time together before he was off to the air­port yet again. Marco warned me about his temper—I knew that if I had pushed the sub­ject any fur­ther, he may just show me that temper.

When I woke up the next morn­ing, he had already left for the air­port. My phone had sev­eral missed calls from his work cell phone, which was highly unusual. Why was he fran­ti­cally try­ing to reach me? Was every­thing OK? I called him back imme­di­ately, but his work phone was off…