Why Your Bedroom Isn’t as Steamy as It Could Be

You’d imag­ine that one of the best parts about being with a sexy, older man—or any good look­ing man for that matter—is the sex­ual energy that you have together. But it turns out that a lot of women feel any­thing but sexy in their relationships.

A sur­vey done by a British online erotic bou­tique found that a pretty sig­nif­i­cant num­ber of women don’t feel like they have the con­fi­dence and/or enthu­si­asm for sex. Out of the 1,000 U.K. women polled, more than half said that they lacked the self-confidence to feel sexy, and almost a quar­ter of them said that they had no pas­sion for sex. Nearly three quar­ters of the respon­dents felt that these neg­a­tive feel­ings have impacted their relationships.

What’s espe­cially inter­est­ing about this study is what it unveiled on how to solve the prob­lem, which is rel­e­vant to every woman strug­gling with sim­i­lar feel­ings in her rela­tion­ship. Accord­ing to the results, 40% of the women said that when they received com­pli­ments from their part­ner, it made them feel sex­ier, which often makes for a more enjoy­able expe­ri­ence in the bed­room. Also, 37% admit­ted that they’d like to hear their men tell them more often that they’re sexy.

It’s com­mon to hear about older men not being able to keep up with their younger women in the bed­room, but it can go the other way too. A lot of younger women who are dat­ing older men can some­times feel that they won’t be able to live up to their part­ners’ past lovers, which can be a big blow to their con­fi­dence. So, if you’re read­ing these num­bers and feel like you can relate, it might not be such a bad idea to drop some hints to your older man, or maybe leave this arti­cle some­where he’ll be sure to see it.

“One in five women say they never feel sexy: sur­vey,” New York Daily News web site; http://goo.gl/aDIbH, last accessed July 4, 2013.

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About Francine K

I first met Alfred when I was 38 and he was 63, on an Internet chat site. I really didn't think this was a datable person, but a wonderful friendship developed. We became chat buddies for a while and connected so well on so many levels, we decided to meet in person. We live 100 miles apart, but that has never gotten in the way of us spending time together. A passionate relationship soon grew, and oh what an amazing lover. I had some reservations about getting too involved: our age difference is 25 years, and we are in different phases in our lives; in fact he has a daughter who is older than I am. I have 2 teenage sons, a career, was building my first home, and he’s retired, owns his home, lives alone, takes a nap during the day, and enjoys a slow-paced lifestyle. I am still ambitious and will soon have the empty nest to go start my own life, as my sons are nearly independent. There is no way I want to sit down and have a retired lifestyle yet. We’ve shared a beautiful, passionate friendship for many years together. We’ve never really figured out how to plan a future together, though.